I was reading a quote by Elder David A. Bednar and it really got me thinking:
"Unfortunately many young members of the Church today are fearful of and stumble in their progress toward eternal marriage because they have seen too much of divorce in the world and of broken covenants in their homes and in the Church."
I can tell you first hand that I have seen too much of divorce in the world. Last year my father got divorced for the 8th time - yes, I really said 8th. It's hard to see someone you care about go through such a loss. But how do we have faith rather than fear of that possible loss? How do we keep divorce out of our own marriages?
Dr. Laura Schlessinger quotes: "There was a time I let the word divorce into my vocabulary, and once you say it, it becomes a part of you and suddenly it consumes you. I was very close to divorce, and I was sure I no longer loved my husband. All I could think of was ME, and what I deserved, and everything I gave to him was attached to the condition that I get something in return. I am not sure that is the reason it wasn’t returned-no one likes to receive with expectations. Every moment at home, all I did was complain of not having enough. I spent so much time wondering what was in it for me, that I didn’t see just how much I already had!”
Marriage is truly one of the hardest things you will ever do. Once you allow yourself to dwell on the thought of it ending, doesn't it seem easier and easier to think about that everytime something goes wrong or gets hard? And trust me, things do go wrong and get hard quite often!
(Let's not forget that some marriages need to end - trust me, I get that. I have seen that in my own family that divorce is necessary. But there are also many marriages have we witnessed in our own lives that could have possibly been saved through communication, forgiveness, selflessness and unconditional love?)
We are so blessed to have so many resources open that give us the opportunity to endure through the hard times, heal from the mistakes and communicate to move on. We HAVE to remember we are not perfect and neither is our spouse. Whether we have the Gospel in our lives or not, crap still gets in our marriage. There so many things that can cause hardship and disputes like in-laws, pornography, addictions, affairs, money problems - I could go on, but everyone who has ever been in a marriage knows.
The real question is: Is divorce in your vocabulary? When the hard times hit and something like an addiction engulfs your spouse are you ready to head out the door because "this isn't how marriage is suppose to be?" We need to create own own fairytale and fight for our marriage hand in hand with our spouse -
Marriage was worth it enough it in the beginning to say 'I do' and will be even better it if you can endure to the end - like the saying goes "No one ever said it was going to be easy, but it will be worth it!"
